Well, Dr. Lisa tells me that it is imperative that I find the things that relax me and make them happen. I must make time to relax, to de-stress. As I've heard from many, many people over the last several months "if you don't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of others."
My problem is that I'm apparently someone who has unrealistic expectations of himself and a White Knight/martyr complex. It is against my nature to look to myself before looking to others. Couched in the concept that I must look to myself in order to look to others, then perhaps I must now evaluate my hobby time.
For the last, oh, decade and a half or more... Since about 1995, I have been involved in many large gaming organizations. The original Caladan Highland Dragoons, the USS Ark Angel and her 342nd Marine Strike Group, and most recently the Royal Dragoon Guards. In all of those situations, I ended up being the only or at least the lead game master. I was also in most cases administrator and leader of the organization or a department thereof. I made it a habit to run the games that would entertain the masses, but not necessarily the games I was passionate about running. Did I have fun? Of course. But maybe now it's time for a change.
What I've basically got is a perscription to do more leisure reading, try to relax more, and pick some game I am actually passionate about and run it. Over the last decade-plus I've done a lot of D&D, Shadowrun, Star Wars and MechWarrior. I love these games, but they do appeal to the wide audience I've run for and have kept me from doing the significantly more niche stuff I'd like to do.
So here we go. I'm going to try to run a game for ME. Now, it may end up being one of the ones in that list above that I've run constantly for two decades. Or, it may be something like Earthdawn... or Legionnairre... or Space : 1889. Something that *I* have always found fascinating but have always back-burnered for reasons of wider appeal because I felt I *HAD* to entertain as many people as possible.
Nope, my perscription is to run something because I want to, not because I feel I have to in order to entertain the masses.
Let's see what I come up with.