So... I was right in the middle of 30 days of stuff when I just stopped posting. I know this probably disappointed both of you who read this blog, and I'm sorry. Here's what happened.
My lovely wife was suffering from what turned out to be a stomach ulcer. But it took Medical Science!!! weeks to determine it was an ulcer, and not - as they tested for three times - gall bladder issues. So after a sonogram, and a CT scan, and something like a "hepascan" her gall bladder kept on being infuriatingly functional. She ended up seeing our practice's PA, as the doc was out on a particularly bad pain day, and this amazing PA spent 45 minutes with us and determined it was probably an ulcer. Prescribed a badass antacid, and BOOM. A scope later confirmed it. So- she'd been in a lot of pain, missed a lot of work, and on the days she did work crashed almost immediately upon getting home. I got used to feeding her dinner in the bedroom, juggling the kids homework and reading myself, and cancelling my attempt at a Thursday night campaign. An boy, was I tired.
As my wife started to recover, I didn't. I was dizzy a lot. Falling asleep at my desk. I kept cleaning my glasses because my vision would be frustratingly blurry. I was going through two 64-oz iced teas a day at work. Ravenously hungry all the time. Regular afternoon headaches. I kept telling myself I was just tired, fatigued from taking care of Mary and the balancing act that required. I couldn't rub two brain cells together- it's been AGES since I've written, or done any serious reading, or even leisure reading. I couldn't concentrate.
So I went to the doc for routine bloodwork to check my T levels and was surprised to find out - you might have guessed it - DIABEETUS.
My blood sugar and A1c were ASTRONOMICALLY bad. Like, make peace with losing limbs, going blind, heart attack and stroke bad. And somehow, with me getting bloodwork every six months for years, this snuck up on us. Ugh.
The best part- this appointment was two days before we set sail on our cruise. JUST the news you want to hear before you embark on an eight day tour of the Eastern Caribbean. Oh, the conch fritters I didn't eat. Oh, the Miami Vices I didn't drink. But - low carbing, as my doctor told me to, was ridiculously easy on the trip. Cruise ship steak for the win!
Why am I spilling all this- well, to get it out of my system for one. Also, to point out that I'm not sure how long this has been going on. My ability to concentrate degraded a long time ago. Headaches have been going on for over a year. Some of the other symptoms, too. I've been so frustrated that I've been unable to finish any projects, much less any leisure reading. I had sort of fallen into this existence that was chore to chore with a sort of low-cognition rest state in the middle. Get up, take the kids to school, go to work, try to accomplish something and usually fail, pick up the kids, cook dinner, do reading and homework, try to go to sleep and usually fail until after midnight... lather, rinse, repeat.
I wasn't writing, blogging, reading, my creativity was nil. I'd have good days, and I'd have fall asleep wherever I'm sitting days.
I am currently on the mend, though. Medication, exercise, and diet have done wonders over the last seven weeks. My head is clearer, my headaches almost nonexistent, I managed to lose a pound over the holidays and a cruise, and I'm aiming to lose a LOT more, and faster, now that I've dialed the diet in.
People tell you if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of others. I ignored what I had no idea were symptoms for ages. I really thought I was just really fatigued. I was working in such a discombobulated mental state I didn't realize it was more serious than this. Back in 2013 I was shocked to get a phone call from my boss that my office mate from 2010-2012 had suddenly passed away. He had Type 2 diabetes, and wasn't tending to it. He ate what he wanted to eat, and did what he wanted to do, and didn't take medication, and he died. So, while diabetes is a manageable disease- it's nothing to screw around with. And here I'd gone and developed diabetes and had no idea how long I'd had it. If this hadn't been caught- I shudder to think.
Anyway, lots of stuff to think about. But since starting to come out of the effects of the illness, at least mentally, I'm starting to get my creative juices flowing again. I'm reading again, and writing again.
I'm a mess. I suffer from anxiety and depression. I'm medicated for blood pressure. Now I'm on one med for diabetes that doesn't bother me, and one that makes me nauseous and dizzy. Love it when the medicine is as bad as the illness, yeah? But I'm WRITING again. Maybe, just maybe, I can finish a project and get it out to the world.
Let's find out together.
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